The one who asks first- the courage of initiation!

Initiating anything—be it an activity together, a bid for connection, a romantic  gesture, or the introduction of a new idea—is an act of vulnerability. The person who steps forward to initiate is not merely suggesting something; they are offering a part of themselves, exposing their desires, thoughts, or creativity to the scrutiny of another. This act of putting oneself out there, is inherently risky because it comes alongside the possibility of potential rejection, denial, misunderstanding, or criticism.

At the core of initiation lies courage. It takes immense courage to be the first one to show up, to make the first move, to voice a new thought. When someone initiates, they are stepping into the unknown, where the outcome is uncertain. They are risking rejection, they are risking being misunderstood, and they are risking criticism, which can all be deeply hurtful, especially when the initiated action or idea comes from a place of sincerity.

The fear of making a fool of oneself is a real and uncomfortable one. This fear can prevent us from initiating at all, keeping us from living our full desires, which then remain repressed and can breed resentment. Yet, those who do take the leap, do so because they care. Their willingness to initiate is a sign that they value the relationship, the person, or the potential outcome enough to take the risk. Something that they should be rewarded for.

For the recipient, understanding the vulnerability inherent in initiation is crucial. When someone initiates, they are offering more than just a suggestion or a proposition; they are offering a piece of their heart, their thoughts, or their desires. It is essential for the recipient to look beyond the surface of the idea and to recognize the underlying intention and emotion of the initiator. The fact that someone is willing to put themselves in a vulnerable position speaks volumes about the importance they place on the relationship or the situation.

Being receptive means acknowledging the courage it took to bring the idea forward, showing appreciation for the effort, and being empathetic to the initiator's vulnerability. Even if the idea or suggestion is not something the recipient agrees with or wants to pursue, it is important to respond in a way that honours the initiator's courage and intention!

Rejecting an idea without rejecting the person and their emotions is an art that requires sensitivity. The recipient can gently express their feelings by first acknowledging the effort and thought that went into the initiation. Phrases like "I appreciate you bringing this up" or "It means a lot that you care enough to suggest this" can validate the initiator's emotions.

When offering a rejection, it helps to be clear and compassionate. Instead of an outright "no, this won’t work" or “sorry, I can’t do this today” consider saying, "I really appreciate your emotions and intention behind this idea, but I'm not sure if I see it the same way as you do, or I'm afraid I may not have the capacity to do this today.” This response acknowledges the idea without diminishing the person’s emotions behind it. Additionally, offering an alternative or expressing a willingness to discuss other possibilities can keep the lines of communication open and demonstrate that the rejection of the idea does not equate to a rejection of the relationship or the person.

Ultimately, initiation is a powerful act of bravery and care. Those who take the risk to initiate deserve recognition for their courage, and those who receive these overtures have the responsibility to respond with empathy and understanding. By focusing on the underlying intention and emotion, and by handling rejections with care, both parties can strengthen their connection and continue to foster an environment of trust and mutual respect.